Director's Commentary
»When I shot the first shoot for "Pink Elephants" a few years ago, I didn't realise how much energy, tearing and conflict this film would cost me. Of course, the subject was entirely my world, because I was an actress too and had the same dream as many of the protagonists. Working on this film changed me. I discovered my love for documentary film and lost my desire to be an actress.
After the first three hours in Bernard Hiller's master class I suddenly realised how important this film would become. Never before had anyone been allowed to film in such workshops and what happens there raises existential questions that not only affect actors, but all of us. Do we need a guide? How much dependence is healthy? Is there positive manipulation? Should we really switch off our brain completely to let our heart speak alone? Shouldn't a good teacher educate us to be independent? How do the dynamics in a group work and where is the line between good leadership and abuse of power?
After each master class I was both smarter and dumber. I was attracted and repelled. But above all I discussed, sometimes louder, sometimes quieter and always new. No matter how I felt about Hiller and his methods – he made me think. Again and again I caught myself thinking about my life and my dreams, about the opportunities I missed and about the wonderful feeling of really helping people. But in the consequence of these thoughts it became more and more clear that acting, fame, money and Hollywood cannot be the goal. That dependence, in whatever form, is a cut in the freedom that is so necessary.
A lot of people told me how Bernie saved her. How they led a dreary and fearful life and found their happiness through his master class. Some made me cry, some made me laugh, sometimes I felt shame. But as much as I wanted to distance myself from the actors, it didn't work. Most of them were not lemmings. They were reflective and fully aware of their vulnerability. They had made the decision to take the master class. And why not! I began to realise that we all have our buttons, our weaknesses, our demons. And yes, we are all vulnerable because of that.
During these days of the workshop many of the participants experience feelings they have never experienced before. And they carry this experience into their future lives. Some of them have made difficult decisions for their lives after the Masterclass. Whether they have ever regretted this, I do not know. In any case, the effect was huge, in both directions. I also heard stories of disappointment, instrumentalisation and cult methods. A lot of it was intangible or untraceable. Many didn't dare speak openly to me. Although nobody really said it, I felt the fear that Hiller could have a negative influence on my own career. As an actor you are so dependent on the opinion of others, on recommendations and support. It's a small industry, and exclusion can be the end of everything.
I have discarded many prejudices and built up new ones, I have observed intensively and analysed every word and every method over a period of months. One thing became clearer and clearer for me: this is not a story that is clearly black or white. It touches on issues that concern us all: happiness – success – freedom – love. I believe that during this rollercoaster of emotions, in the ambivalence of perceptions and between heaven and hell, somewhere there is an answer. An individual truth that only the spectator can answer for himself.«
Susanne Bohlmann